Otley man denies vicious ‘holiday abroad’ rumour ...

Victor Bramble from prego* country vehemently denied he was considering taking his family for a fortnight Abroad, despite allegations to the contrary.

 

‘I would never do such a thing’ he said, ‘Abroad is full of foreigners with their funny ways and garlic and whatnot. They don’t even speak English, the dirty bastards’.

 

Mr Bramble was apparently overheard in The Fleece saying he was tired of holidaying every year in Menston and was thinking of spreading his wings. In addition, it is common knowledge that Bramble’s youngest son Billy once consumed a pizza whilst on a trip to That Leeds, further fuelling speculation.

 

An official from the ‘Keep Otley Otley’ campaign warned that with the arrival of planes at Leeds Bradford airport, the temptation to venture Abroad was bound to increase. ‘You can get to anywhere in the world now in as few as six weeks – even faraway places like Ceylon, Rhodesia and France. We don’t have a problem with people enjoying themselves. But it’s what they bring back that worries us. All it would take is for someone to smuggle back a horse infected with rabies and we’d all be dead’.

 

What do you think? Is there anything wrong with going Abroad?
email moo@prego.co.uk

 

‘All foreigners are dangerous. Look at Hitler. He was foreign. And Tom Cruise with his Scientisting ways. Anyone who wants to go Abroad must be either mad or stupid or either’.

- Georgiou Papollopudous, Feta Gate, Otley

 

‘My Aunt Mabel once went to Cyprus and do you know what she said they ate? Vine leaves! Leaves to eat!!! That says it all’.

- Ellen Jambalaya, Pumpernickel Square, Otley

 

‘I wouldn’t go Abroad even if you offered to take me there’.

- Gerrald Dump, Frenchgate, Otley