“65% of Otley to have power by 2010” says electric man.

A man from the electric people has confirmed that more Otlenians will soon have electricity, sparking anger amongst some residents.

 

“We don’t want it!” said local candlestick maker Thomas Wick, who asked not to be named. “We’ve managed long enough without these new fangled inventions. And it will do a lot of damage to my business. The only people who’ll want my candles now will be the Satanists, nuns and lonely single women. It’s a disgrace”.

 

However some people have welcomed the news. “I think it’s fantastic,” gushed Morris Dangleberry. “They’ve had the electric in Ilkley since 2001. It’s time Otley was brought into the 19th century at last.”

 

Malcolm Voltaire, a spokeswoman from Balfour Bastard, the electric people’s contractors, confirmed that work will commence shortly. “We’re bringing some Irish across on a boat now to start digging up the roads. We were going to get Poles as they’re cheaper, but the micks can do tarmacing as well, so it’s like killing two cats with one stone. Disruption will be kept to a minimum, and we’ll only have to close all roads in and out of Otley for a couple of years”.

 

Electricity was invented in 1983 by famous wheelchair user, Lord Steven Hawking, and the idea has caught on all over the world.